How to Deal with My Husband’s Addiction
Some of the most difficult relationships throughout life can be the ones we choose to have – people we are dating, people we choose to live with, people we choose to marry and those we have kids with. Unlike the relationships we have with our siblings or parents or cousins, etc., we seek out and select those that we are going to be romantic with. Most people find these types of relationships to be the most difficult and the most work – especially when someone in the marriage has an addiction.
Does your husband or spouse have an addiction to drugs or alcohol? If so, our Better Tomorrow treatment center team wants to share with you some tips on how to deal with their addiction.
Addiction within the Marriage
Everyone who has gotten married to or been committed to someone in a relationship that has an addiction knows, without any doubt, that addictions are dangerous and destructive. In certain committed relationships, addiction may happen over time or come up quickly years later.
There are some other things that you may want to know about addiction within the marriage, such as:
- Might not be apparent or even clear near the beginning of your relationship (but it will come to the forefront eventually)
- Normal drinking behaviors may be seen earlier in the relationship, until your husband gets used to drinking in front of you, then they may go back to their old, addictive drinking habits
- Some addictions do develop or increase in severity shortly after getting married
- Your spouse may have had an addiction well before you even met them, but you just didn’t want to admit it or you didn’t notice
The bottom line is that in a marriage, your husband’s or spouse’s drug of choice could vary from prescription drugs to illicit drugs to alcohol. No matter what drink or drug your spouse chooses, eventually the addiction will likely take over their whole personality and lifestyle. Their drinking or drug use may even come before time with you, before your children and before other responsibilities, too.
It can be tough to admit when your husband, the person you fell madly in love with, has an addiction. It may take you a long time before you are ready to admit what is happening. Even then, you should do your best to get support from other family members or friends. It is hopeful that the more people who can talk with your husband about his addiction, the more he might see that he truly does need addiction treatment center support.
Has your husband already agreed to get treatment? If so, let our Better Tomorrow team help you deal with your husband’s addiction.
Things to Do When You Are in Love with Your Addicted Spouse
If your husband or spouse has an addiction to alcohol or drugs, it is likely taking over your marriage and your entire life with them. You might not even recognize the person your husband has or is becoming. Maybe, they used to be kind and loving and now they aren’t even present most of the time – emotionally or physically.
If you are in love with an addicted person, there are 7 things you should consider and/or do – whether you want to stay married or not. These 7 things are as follows:
- Avoiding denial (it is very important that you don’t stay in denial about your husband’s addiction – that is only going to make things worse)
- Educate yourself about addiction (there are various audiobooks, regular books, podcasts, websites, blogs, and other resources to help you learn more about addiction and how it can impact your family)
- Learn what a codependent relationship is and how to deal with it (the longer you are around someone with an addiction to drugs or alcohol, the more you will be shaped by their addiction – this basically means that you might start displaying unhealthy emotions, obsess over all moves your husband makes, lie for them and abandon your own goals to try helping them)
- Stop enabling your spouse (people with an addiction thrive on enabling behaviors – they will use you as much as they can if you are enabling them and their addiction)
- Joining a support group (there are many support groups that help to support people who have an addiction or who are affected by addiction – you can talk to us here at Better Tomorrow to find out our recommendations or you can do a search online – Alanon, Naranon, and other 12-step support groups are usually a great choice)
- Stick with the consequences (many people hold an intervention for the addicted person in their life – when doing this it is important to have consequences for the addict to help ensure they know you are serious – one example might be that you will no longer pay for their alcohol or drugs from this point forward or you won’t drive them anywhere except to get treatment)
- Taking care of yourself (this tip is extremely vital – you are so busy worrying about your husband or spouse that you forget to take care of yourself – this is a normal response to dealing with addiction, but it isn’t healthy, so be sure you practice regular self-care)
These are just some of the many tips that can help you to deal with your husband’s addiction. If you are concerned that these tips won’t be enough or if you want to get out of the marriage, our Better Tomorrow team highly recommends you see a therapist and attend as many sessions as you need.
Get Help Dealing with Your Husband’s Addiction Starting Today
Does your husband or spouse have a drug or alcohol addiction? If so, you may be struggling to keep your marriage alive. You may be worrying all the time and so overwhelmed with all that is going on, it can be difficult to know what to do or where to turn. The good news is that you can get help dealing with your husband’s addiction starting today.
Contact us, here at Better Tomorrow, and we will talk to you about various treatments available for your husband and how to get set up for an intervention. We can also talk with you about support groups that might help you to better cope with or handle your husband’s addiction, as well.